My dad just told me something that I never, ever would want to tell my kids. How does a parent live with themself when they say to their child some of the things my father has said to me over the years? As a kid, it was that I couldn't be a singer. Now, it's also that I shouldn't major in music. And also...now it's suddenly this thing...that Dusty, when I'm approaching a one-year mark of dating him, my lovely father tells me that he is "goofy as he**" and then he goes on to say...I hope you find somebody else
. Honestly, what kind of stupid crap is that? What kind of parenting is this? It's like this artificial form of adulthood that he's created...possibly what makes him happy...but I'm such a different person. And Dusty...gosh..I can't tell him. Dad told me not to, but it's not that...I can't do this to him. This baggage has to be for me to carry and me alone. Please...please...I tell him everything..but I don't want to hurt him...because it will...and it'll be my fault, no matter what anyone says. I'm on the verge of being so happy these days. I'm studying what I love...do do something I love. I have a boyfriend that loves me, and completes me, who drives me insane and comes from a different world than I. He's more of a loser than I am, but it's kind of a good thing. The other half of me? I've believed that so far. I hate having my mind messed with. It's like Romeo and Juliet, and not focusing on the romantic part, but the tragic part where the parents don't know how to be parents. Jeez..Juliet should be my nickname. More than that, though. Gosh...I gotta get out of this house and this place at some point. I've got to...for so many reasons.